"Memory can be warped, it lies, it tells us what we want to hear. So part of this essay is a call to work beyond personal knowledge and thus beyond memory, to test that memory against other evidence in the world. Memory will rarely match that evidence very neatly, but this is a good thing.…
My sisters and I always call my mother on November 2nd. Today, she asked me if I remembered the cakes we made for Daddy. "I gave you each a can of frosting and you decorated with lots and lots of sprinkles. Daddy always acted so surprised!" When I told her that no, unfortunately, I don't…
"Did you miss your father on your wedding day?" asked A. We stood on the back deck of another friend's new house, munching hot pizza. Two-year-olds in soft Halloween costumes (bear, dog, tutu) rode up and down the stairs in parents' arms, giving the illusion of a funicular. I watched the birthday boy, long free…
Everything we perceive, even for a fleeting moment, is committed—in tiny pieces across various parts of the brain—to memory. When a memory is called back up, it might be 100% accurate. Or it might not be. Pieces are jumbled like ornament hooks. A poem becomes entangled with the image of an old friend and catches…
“Above all, don’t forget. Commit everything – each blade of grass, each teary-eyed child, each unmarked grave – to memory. Then when you survive and are older, tell your story.”
