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One Reason I Love What I’m Writing About

January 24, 2011

This morning–this freezing, windy, early morning–I underwent a test to examine my super special lady parts. How we ladies love these kinds of tests. Stripping, clasping the robe over our bums, lying on a flatbed with our legs up and spread, and waiting for the raid to begin. This one was more intensive than the regular six-monther, and it hurt. I was told it would hurt, and it did, it hurt a LOT. Halfway through the radiologist said, “Well, this isn’t working, I’m going to have to get the clamp, and it’s going to hurt.” I said, “But it already hurts.” He said, “That’s nothing. The clamp, I’m sorry, but the clamp HURTS.” I haven’t been in that much pain since 2005 when I first tried to bend my knee two weeks after surgery. This pain didn’t hurt like that pain, but it came close. And it beat the evil dental surgeon’s rip-out-my-tooth pain. It was a once-in-five-years pain, I’ll give it that.

Over the sound of my own deep breathing and occasional “holy craps,” I heard the radiologist ask me what I do for a living. Happy to be distracted, I told him I’m a writer, editor, and teacher. He asked what everyone asks. “What do you write?” I explained my book’s premise, then asked him, and his assistant, Charlene, about their earliest memories.

So that’s how it came to pass that at 8:45 this morning, a man with a clamp and a catheter told me from between my legs that his earliest memory is of climbing on a bright red fire truck when he was four years old. “It was cool as hell,” he said. “Holy crap,” I said. Charlene remembers being five years old and sledding with her older brother who kindly let her have the front seat so she could experience the wind, the fear, the thrill. A wistful look on her face, she handed me a towel and said, “You’re going to need to clean up.”

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One Comment
  1. I love this. And you. And I was all ready to get good and teary until I got to the Google ad at the end of a lovely, lovely post: “Free Inflammation Relief! Just pay shipping!” Stupid product placement.


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