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When will I memory today?

January 8, 2011

Memory is a thing to be described, a trait to be developed, an ability to be lost. Right? Memory can be mined, enhanced, logged, sharpened. What we know of memory isn’t provable, but has collected into a belief so strong we down pills for it. Who hasn’t heard, and likely used, the language of the flash to discuss memory. I used to subscribe to the belief. When I first read about Dumbledore’s pensieve I was all kinds of envious. Memory as strands like DNA. Memory is a place other than the tangible surroundings we can collectively describe. Like a dream. Déjà vu– being in two places at once, in the tangible world and in the memory.

For some time, however, I’ve been developing another philosophy of memory. (This is the first and probably last time I’ll imagine wearing a thick rubber suit, standing hours on end in a frigid lab, swirling gasses and liquids.)

Memory, not a thing or a substance or a place. Memory the exercise, real when it’s happening, whether it happened or not. I haven’t developed a philosophy of memory, therefore, I’ve memoried one. For someone without childhood memory, it’s a sure thing. Every single day I can decide whether or not to memory. Should I make a veggie omelet for dinner? How many hours do I need to get through this chunk of editing work? When will I memory today? When I memory, I’m complete from start to finish and in between and there are no questions or holes. There are no holes in an act of exertion. When I memory, I am very, very close to my father, and I am utterly sure of who I am.

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One Comment
  1. Can this line “When I memory, I am very, very close to my father, and I am utterly sure of who I am.” please make it into your book? Even as an epigraph! Can you have an epigraph of yourself, or is that weird??


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